Well, I have tried to sit down and write about 3 different times now, but I get so overwhelmed and bombarded with thoughts that I cannot seem to sort them out to make sense on paper. So, after 3 tries, I am just going to see what happens, and hope that it makes some sort of sense to someone:)
The cost of discipleship....this is what has been going through my mind the last week or so. God has really been challenging me, and speaking very bluntly to my heart. He's been talking to me about relinquishing my rights, and things that are of value to me. I get so caught up in the gross cylce of "I need, I need, I need..." and I lose my focus on Jesus. We grow up thinking and being taught that we have the right to a comfortable life, to nice things...a house, a good car, health, and all these things our culture tells us we "need" Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying in any way that these are wrong things to have, please hear my heart...this is something God is dealing with me on. As we step out in trusting God for $3,000 in the next 3 weeks, I find myself wanting to hold tight to the things that are of "value" to me, and I feel God urging me in my spirit to give everything away. As money gets tighter, and it seems we need more of it, I feel God telling me to be wrecklessly generous....it seems like sometimes he is asking me to give more than I have. And as I am obedient...I find so much joy in giving. I love it. As I give up my right to have the things I think I need....God sustains me and the things I thought were so valuable become like rubbish, and all that matters is Jesus, and being obedient to him. He will take care of the rest. I love growing closer with Jesus. I want to be like the merchant who discovers a pearl of great price, and gives everything he has to get that pearl. That's what I want my pursuit of Jesus to be like.
I was reminded of this verse, as God has been challenging me with this.
"When God spoke from Mt. Sanai his voice shook the earth, but now he makes another promise, 'Once again I will shake not only the earth but the heavens also.' This means that the things on earth will be shaken, so that only eternal things will be left. Since we are receiving a Kingdom that cannot be destroyed, let us be thankful and worship God with holy fear and awe. For our God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:26-29
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